What Grade Do I Deserve in life?

So I have finally received my first writing assignment of the year in my Pegasus 12 class. The assignment is to write a letter (or at least that was what I chose to do) to someone on September 5th of next year about our life after high school. The whole point of this assignment is to establish what we picture for ourselves—our goals, problems, successes, etc. Also the assignment is supposed to be fun. No ma’am. No it is not.

This assignment cannot be fun. The nature of an assignment is to be graded. So if a + b = c, then I am going to be graded on what I would consider my life (or future life). To me this sounds incredibly scary. What if I get a bad grade on my life? I mean, I’m supposed to hand in this paper and let a third party judge my goals, my hopes, and my dreams. To be real I would say that is what a person is judged on to a certain degree, but getting a grade for a number of points is different. In my mind it has the potential to be extremely painful.

Where I picture myself in a year is a small town in Ohio called Ada. Ada, Ohio, is home to the small school of Ohio Northern University. I know in my heart that this is the school that I belong in. The program is excellent, the students are friendly, and class sizes are relatively small, which is what I really want. My goal in life is to write. Poetry, stories, memoirs—it doesn’t matter I just want to do it. So my major would be creative writing. Later I plan on getting a masters in English literature; maybe even a teaching certificate. What would be really nice is if I were able to teach at the college level, which would give me time to write.

Even while I know ONU is the best place for me there are a lot of roadblocks for me personally. I love my family and friends. They’ve always been close to me, and as such, a big part in my life. Ohio is a eight hour drive in one direction, which is manageable, but that also means I probably wouldn’t be able to do it too often. That is one of my biggest resignations about going to school in Ohio.

Another one is Ada’s isolation. The campus is smack dab in the middle of cornfields. For a city girl like me that’s a little odd. Not insurmountable, but odd. Also the nearest town is twenty minutes away, and there isn’t much to do there either. Wal-Mart is one of the few highlights. Call me spoiled but I like to shop; I like to have entertainment at my fingertips; I like the ability to go out and see the latest movie at random. All this is limited in Ada. Not impossible, but limited.

The other big bad is the dorm sizes. Small as a broom cupboard! Supposedly two to four people are supposed to fit into rooms that are half the size of my small room at home. Yes, the dorm is part of the college experience, but I need my space. I’m not just saying this. I really would go off on anyone who lived with me. I’m the type of person who needs their alone time or else.

Despite all this I really want to go to ONU. My theme for my senior year is no regrets. College is the main reason for that little motto. I don’t want to make the wrong decision and regret what I did or didn’t do for the rest of my life. I have all these goals, fears, and hopes that I packed into this tiny three-page paper, and I’m terrified of them being rejected.

This paper represents more than just a grade to me. This is my life that someone else is grading, and that truly scares me. Is everything I wrote going to come true? No, of course not! But it’s what I wish for when I go to sleep at night, what I dream of when I’m sleeping, and what keeps me going when I’m awake. And I just don’t want someone to give me a grade on that.