Amor est Aequus Ludus (Love is Just a Game)

I give my affection easily. Sometimes I wonder if I give it away too easily. But I think it is important that people know how much I care about them. My friends have hardly ever not known that I love them. How could they not? I tell them almost every day.

I come from a small family, and I guess I’ve always wanted a bigger one. To fill this gap I’ve extended my family to my friends. My core group of friends are exactly like brothers and sisters to me, except I don’t have to share my room with them. So I tell them that I love them like I would my family members, hug them when they’re down or when they receive gratuitous news, and I have a deep-seated loyalty to each of my friends that most reserve only for blood. I see absolutely nothing wrong with this.

Similarly, my mother and I are extremely affectionate. Our bond is tighter than most mothers and daughters. Each day practically begins and ends with the phrase “I love you”. And it’s not just that we say it, we show it too. We both do things that articulate our love for each other. Simple things like me baking one of her favorite treats as a surprise, or her searching high and low for something I’ve wistfully expressed a wish for. I wouldn’t trade what my mother and I have for anything.

Yet for all my justification I, and millions of others, commit treason against love every day. In our society ‘love’ has become one of the most commonplace words. Don’t believe me? How many times have you said love this week?

Last Sunday, I attended the John Meyer/ Sheryl Crow concert. When John took the stage Random Girl X cried out, “I love you John Mayer!” Does she really love him? Probably not. In reality Random Girl X finds John Mayer quite attractive and appreciates his music. However this would be rather difficult to shout at a concert.

On Monday a dozen people told me they loved my dress. On Tuesday I told Kelly I loved her shoes, and Alicia that I loved her joke. On Wednesday I loudly proclaimed I loved Kayne while watching Project Runway; I loved Janet, the dance choreographer for the musical, for not making my dance part too complicated; I loved chocolate, wasn’t it the best?

On Thursday I told Andrew that I loved him because he agreed with me on a band of my choice, which I also apparently love. People loved my shoes, my skirt, my bolero, and my style at intervals. On Friday one of my friends told me she loved some guy she just met, and that she wanted to marry him. I shrugged it off, clearly that meant there was sparkage. And that's just the tip of the iceberg.

All of this bothers me. Love has become just another adjective instead of the deep, respected feeling it should be. This makes me wonder, will I even be able to recognize when I truly fall in love with someone? I toss the word around so much that is it even real to me anymore? I would like to think it is. I would like to believe that I would know when the right person comes along, but at this rate it isn’t looking good.

It has gotten to the point where any male person I find passably attractive I can fool my heart into believing that I love him. Which is just plain stupid! I couldn’t even give you good definition of love because it has become so muddled for me. “Um…well it could be a color of nail polish, but I know Cinderella did it.” Love has become a faded fairytale in today’s society. Not even Webster’s Dictionary could set us straight.

We need to stop using love as just another adjective. It is going to be hard because it’s such an automated response. The English language is a vast one. I’m sure we can find other words besides love to describe what we like. It’s just a matter of conditioning yourself not to say, “I love your…” every time we approve something. Lord knows it will be difficult for me; I love the word love.