Chivalry and All That Jazz

Chivalry a’int dead; it’s just on life support. And I’m sitting here staring at this white knight, trying to decide weather or not I want to pull the plug. How did the white knight end up on life support you may ask? Well I couldn’t say for sure but if I had to take a guess, I’d say he was: bludgeoned by a wife beater; attacked by a drug addict (‘cause he tried to do the right thing by taking away the addict’s crack); shot by a completely unrelated drive-by shooting; and, kneed in the balls by a rampant feminist. But that’s just a guess.

Still, every once in awhile chivalry rears its handsome head. And it totally freaks me out! More from shock than disparagement, but still. I mean the man is supposed to be in a coma here, not pop up and open the door for me. It’s just completely unexpected. Yet, still pleasant. Like the other day, at school, some guy I don’t even know opened the door for me. Not a knock me over with a feather moment or anything, just enough to put a chagrined smile on my face. Another time one of my guy-friends took my hand in a gentlemanly way and kissed my knuckles. I had to seriously fight the urge to check his temperature. But the most recent cavalcade of chivalry in my life is my mother’s boyfriend. Overall, I approve of him; he’s nice. He’s total old school about some things though. Like, he pulls out our chairs and seats us at even the most casual of dinners, and he stands whenever either my mom or I stand up when we’re eating. The first time that happened I froze like the freakin deer in the headlights because I didn’t realize what he was doing. It’s nice and sweet from the daughter perspective, but I know if a boyfriend of mine did that I’d probably freak out.

Thing is, I was raised in a feminist house. So I’ve got this little voice in my head caterwauling about all the things I should do for myself. Like the last time a date offered to pay I couldn’t wrap my brain around the concept of someone else paying for me. It just seemed unfair. On one hand it’s a great gesture, but on the other I feel really awkward and almost greedy. And I’ve never understood the whole walking each other to class thing. This lack of understanding doesn’t come from a feminist place though; it’s just me being a nerd. When I go to school my focus is most often class, and the whole idea of meandering through the halls with your honey, only to stop outside the classroom and linger through the bell thereby making the other person late as well, just boggles me. Of course that could also be my obsession with being on time kicking in again, but whatever. I mean, it’s sweet and sort of charming to see but I couldn’t put myself in a similar picture. But other than that, I like the idea of chivalry. So I end up telling the little feminist voice to shut up. Besides, the white knight’s kinda cute. It would be a total waste to pull the plug on that.